Surviving the holidays as a special-needs family

Okay, here I go, spilling all the tea on how to survive the holidays! I do not have all the answers but I can share what works well for my family each holiday. Take and do what works well for your family and leave me a comment about what you do and works well for you all.

The very first thing I do is pray and then breathe! Pray to Jesus that all goes well! No, but really do pray, that God gives you and your family a beautiful holiday season filled with grace, love, and support.

As for breathing, do a real deep breathing. Not the shallow, stressed breathing either, the kind of deep breathing where you have to stop what you are doing and breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth for at least 5 seconds.

After doing those two vital things, start planning what your family will be doing for each holiday. If it may be too much to plan all main holidays, at least do the very next one, and then plan for the next one after the previous one finishes. The planning doesn't have to be super detailed but at least know where you and your family will be going, what you may need to take, and what your children and family will need to have a pleasant holiday experience for that day.

My children thrive on routine and structure like most children do. If something will be different for them try to prepare them in advance. If your child normally uses a visual schedule or social story for events, finding one online or creating one for them may help them. Try googling: social story for Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years. So many resources are out there and readily available to be downloaded, printed, and used for your family

After planning what the holiday will look like for your family, prepare all the items needed for the said holiday. Try to do as much as possible before the day arrives. If you need to contribute a dish or paper goods or gifts, make sure to purchase them online or in person and have them ready to go! I love dressing up my girls in matching or similar outfits and enjoy finding them outfits prior to the day they will need them. For this Thanksgiving, I waited and purchased their outfits today, the day before.

I also make sure their respective bags or purses have all the things that they like and will keep their interest at other family members home. I also like to incorporate multi-sensory items for their liking and something new and interesting for them to discover and help them keep composure on an unusual day. Below is an example of some items that I will put into the girl's bags this year as they can explore and play with these things when they like.

An example of what goes into my daughters' multi-sensory on the go toolkit (sticky toys, puzzles, glitter water ball, playdoh, coloring book with markers, and notepad with a pen)

Before heading out on the day of, engage in some self-care. If you are married, each person should engage in self-care. Whatever that may look like for you, do it! Personally, I like a quick exercise and an iced coffee for busy holiday days. Do what best suits you. If at any point throughout the day, you feel stressed or tense, remember to breathe, release any tension you may be feeling in your body and loosen your jaw and shoulders. At the end of the day once you've made it back home or settled into the room you'll be staying in, engage in self-care.

A few things to keep in mind as you make beautiful memories with your family is to seek God for guidance, have a good attitude, smile, breathe, give grace freely to others and yourself,  laugh, speak life, engage in uplifting conversations, set boundaries, and enjoy the holiday.

Remember to check in with your spouse and children throughout the day to see how they are doing. The kids may need a break from others so maybe if everyone is inside eating, maybe take the kids out for some time to play and get some energy out. If there is a nearby park, walk there and let them play at the playscape. Anything to give them a moment to stretch their legs and get energy out and this is also a good time to have a candid check-in with them.

Having time to see how everyone is doing is great if you need to cut the time with extended family short - do it. Your right now family household is the number one priority. Most family will understand and respect that and if you need to leave early, do so. If you see that your children may be at the end of keeping it all together, do what is best for them and your family.

While you are making sure everyone in your family is good and enjoying themselves during the holiday day, remember to have a good one as well. Engage in life-giving conversations and catch up with your family and friends. If short on time, make it a point to catch up via phone, lunch date, or even through social media. Just make time for your people!

After the day has come and past, take a break and time to rest. You worked so hard for you and your family to have a lovely holiday. If anything didn't go as planned or something unexpected came up, give yourself some grace and let it go.

When you are ready, repeat and prepare for the next holiday.

I pray that these tips and suggestions help and I wish you and your beautiful family, a blessed, safe, beautiful holiday season!


XO,


Minerva

P.S.: Some affirmations to hang onto.

You can do this!

You are blessed and highly favored!

Your family is blessed to have you, and you are blessed to have them!

Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)

 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.